For the Malaysian Malays, there are certain stages which must be happen before the wedding, there are as follows:
Merisik(Spying) > Pertunagan (Betrothal) > Akad Nikah (Marriage Contract) > Persandingan (Wedding Ceremony)
Before the wedding, the bride’s parents would go round to invite relative, neighbours and the people take they know. In “Kampung” (Village), a general invitation to the whole village folks is by announcing it at the local mosque or sticking the invitation card on the notice board of the village’s mosque.
A few days before the wedding, the bride’s house will be filled with relatives from far and gathering at the house. They are helping each other to ensure the wedding day goes smoothly according to plan … this is what the local people called “gotong-royong” spirit. Men will normally planning the best way to slaughter a cow or goat. A malay wedding normally require at least a cow, goat and few chickens. (Cattle are slaughtered in the government approved abattoir in Malaysia.)
The wedding dishes are “Nasi Tomato” (Tomato Rice), “Rendang or Opor Daging” (Beef Curry), “Ayam Masak Merah” (Red Curry Chicken) and “Ikan Kari” (Curry Fish). Cooks are usually men. All the dishes are cooked in huge pots and giant woks and they are usually using firewood. Men will also busy on the setting up of the tent, tables and chair. All the plates, cups, glassess, spoon and forks are ready on the table.
Women will busy busy on setting up and decorations for the “Pelamin” (Wedding Dais), the bridal bedroom, bouquets of flower – “Bunga Telur” (Egg Flower). “Bunga Telur” will be given out to guest and it bring meaning of fertility symbol which mean the married couple blessed with many children.
Khatam Al-Quran ceremony will normally held in the morning, a day before the wedding. This ceremony carry the value and symbol of transformation of the bride from a child into an adult with responsibility to ensure proper upbringing of her own children and family, the Islamics way. The event will be followed by a “Berzanji, Tahlil and Nasyid” (Islamic Songs Of Workship).
Another ceremony called “Berinai” which is the dyeing with henna of the hands, and the feet of the bride. The event normally held in the afternoon. It is believed that putting henna on the hands would frighten away the devel spirits.
Then come the “Malam Bedak” (Beautifying Nite). “Mak Andam” (Wedding Beautician) will be called to beautify the bride for the wedding.
Malay wedding begins with “Akad Nikah” (Wedding Contract) in the morning and held in the mosque or the bride house. Couple are legally deemed husband and wife after the wedding contract signed by the groom or the girl’s father will preside over the ‘akad nikah” ceremony in the presence of several witnessess from both parties. The “Imam” (Authorised Religious Officer) will read out and advise the groom on the duties and responsibility of a husband. After that, “Imam” will hold the groom’s right hand and say: “Ali, i wed you with Fatimah with “mas kahwin” of RMXX cash” and the groom will reply:”I, Ali son of Abdullah, accept Fatimah as my wife with mas kahwin of RMXX cash” (”Mas Kahwin” is the amount of dowry payment stipulated by the state government, it is various in different states of Malaysia). After this the groom will be allowed to touch the bride’s hands to insert the wedding ring, the bride will kiss the hands of her husband. This is the “membatal air sembahyang” session.
“Bersanding Ceremony” (Wedding Ceremony) is a way to show the married couple to all the relatives, friends and witness. Just to let everybody know that they are husband and wife. This married couple will called as “Raja Sehari” (Royals For The Day) because they wear in gold yellow custome which is the royalties colour.
Groom is elegantly dressed in the traditional Malay costome of “Baju Melayu’ (Malay Custome), samping and tanjak made from songket or silk with a keris. Groom will walk to the bride’s village accompanied by his family members, his bestman will shading him with a yellow gold coloured wedding umbrella. The “Kompang Group” will stand in front of the groom and groom’s family, playing the religious wedding music lead them to the bride’s village.
In the other side, the bride will stand in front her house to waits for the groom.She will walk from her house a distance to meet the groom. Before reaching the house, they will be sprinkled with scented water by the host. Later they will walk hand in hand for the “Bersanding ceremony”
During the “Bersanding Ceremony’, the bridal couple will be seated on the “Pelamin” (Dais) with the male on the right of the female and standing besides both couple will be their bestman and bridesmaid, who blushing couple with the traditional Malay hand fan.
The couple is sprinkled on the palms of the hand with yellow rice, fragrant potpurri, and scented water.The family and relatives member will be called up one by one to repeat the same process. Each of them will be given a “Bunga Telur” after the blessing.
After this process, all of them will attend a celebratory feast called “Makan Beradab” (Catering). They will served with food and bridal couple will be feeding each other sweetened rice. After the “Makan Beradab”, all the families member will be having a photo sessions and poses at the “pelamin”. Guest and relatives will also enjoy the music and live music band while eating.
Until the late evening, up until the last guest, all the family and relatives member will gather in the house. They will be having a wedding cake cut ceremony and hamper giving out by the host to all the relatives.
At night, the wedded couple will go to the decorated bedroom and proceed to sleep at night.
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